Falling Into Pieces
by The Full Neko Alchemist
Summary: Cheating death comes with a heavy price. [Daitokuji oneshot]


**Disclaimer**: YGO GX and its characters do not belong to me.

**Summary**: Cheating death comes with a heavy price.

**Warnings**: This story contains spoilers for Daitokuji from GX. If you do not know of his past, then read on at your own risk. I have no beta reader, so you may catch a few small errors that I try my best to correct. This is set around episodes 42-44.

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**Falling Into Pieces**

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Feeling movement beneath, the cat meowed loudly. It got up and jumped off its master's bed, landing on the floor with a small thump. Turning its head, it gazed back and saw its master moving in the bed; there was a large mound in the bed, and beneath that was a person.

The room was cloaked in darkness. Having no light to speak of, Daitokuji was forced to get out of bed with no visible sight. The situation wasn't helped by the fact he'd left his glasses on the table, which itself was on the other side of the room.

He walked barefoot and blind across the floor. It was cold beneath his feet. Osiris Red, the loser dorm, wasn't given enough money to have carpets everywhere. Not like Obelisk Blue.

Unbeknownst to Daitokuji, a certain someone was blocking his path to the table. The first he knew of it was when he stepped on something squishy and firm, after which a loud yowl echoed around the room.

Daitokuji touched his forehead.

"Pharaoh, would you move?" There was no sign of Daitokuji's customary happy tone.

Pharaoh moved aside and settled down, not acknowledging the situation he'd caused.

Daitokuji arrived at the table, remembering Pharaoh as a kitten. He'd picked Pharaoh to be his companion because he seemed to be content and happy. He'd wanted a partner who wouldn't be high maintenance. Things had been easy, at first, but his work had overtaken him and Pharaoh had been left alone at home. Some of the substances he worked with were harmful and he didn't want Pharaoh in the middle of it. Guilt on his mind, he'd always made sure to leave Pharaoh a generous helping of food. Pharaoh had grown overly large as a result. No cat was naturally that large, but things were not easy. What mattered was that he loved Pharaoh and Pharaoh loved him.

It was better for Pharaoh to be alive than to be dead.

Taking his glasses, the Osiris Red leader returned them to their proper place on his nose. Running his left hand across the wall, he attempted to cut a path to the light switch. He'd almost made it. Taking a breath, he winced. His chest was tight, his lungs hot and his throat dry. Soon, he was coughing more violently.

This was just like before. It was supposed to have worked! Alchemy was to have been his saviour. With it, he had returned from death.

Daitokuji clenched at his nightshirt with his right hand. The fabric balled up beneath his fist. He wasn't dead; he was alive.

Everything vanished, replaced by calm. He was wrong. Alchemy was his job and he was good at it. It was a saviour, not a destroyer. Breathing difficulties, coughing fits, chest pain, general weakness and the coughing up of blood; all of them he had suffered and escaped through his use of alchemy. He knew that things would go wrong from time to time. The beaker exploding in his face right in front of his class was proof enough.

That memory made him happy, more so than Kagemaru, a man who sought the dangerous Sangenma.

Daitokuji had the intent to stop Kagemaru and Yuki Judai was his hope of doing so. He had invested a lot of time and energy in his student, energy that as of late he had been severely lacking.

Opening his eyes, Daitokuji flicked on the light switch and looked around. His bed stood in the corner, the white quilt cast aside from where he had been sleeping. Directly before him was the window, beyond which was the moon and stars. A bookshelf was propped up against the wall to his left, whilst on the right stood the table from which he'd taken his glasses. The far left corner of the room was bare, save for a protective hanging on the wall, next to which grew a pot plant.

Daitokuji walked back across the room. Soon enough, he passed by his table, behind which a silver mirror had been hooked up to the wall. His conscience was pricked.

Turning around to face the mirror, he saw his red eyes staring back at him. His body was showing signs of wear and tear. The last reason he wanted to help Kagemaru was to get his hands on the Philosopher's Stone, which could cure any illness. Not only did the Sangenma hold the keys to the Philosopher's Stone, they held the keys to the greatest Alchemy. By getting his hands on the Stone, he would cure not only his physical form but secure his future. If he died, he would have nothing left to aim for.

Daitokuji gently pulled down his left eyelid. At least it was working, somewhat. He had bad eyesight, yes, but he needed the glasses to mask his appearance. If students saw he was red-eyed, they would begin asking questions.

He pulled away his finger. Dry brittle flesh came away from his face and sprinkled to the floor. He scrabbled at the area some more. Sure enough, more came loose.

Daitokuji's face turned pale.

His heart started to beat faster inside his chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was to live, not die.

There was much he wanted to do. He wanted to die only when he had been able to realise his dream of creating the Philosopher's Stone.

Daitokuji banged his fist on the table in anger. His life, like his face, was falling into pieces.

"How could I let this happen?"

His attention was diverted when Pharaoh rubbed up against his leg.

He breathed in and out, then straightened and stooped to pluck Pharaoh, with both hands, off the floor. He held him to his chest. Pharaoh's weight was pressing down his arms, making it harder and harder to keep a firm grip.

Feeling tired, Daitokuji placed Pharaoh on the table. His cat sat down and looked up at him quizzically before it returned its attention to what it did best; napping.

Daitokuji wanted to cry.

If he died, he wouldn't see Pharaoh again. The one constant in his life…

His eyes squeezed shut, his chest welled up and he cupped his face in his hands. All his emotions, his thesis, his skills; they had failed. He did not want to die; he wanted to survive. He wanted to survive not only for himself, but for Pharaoh and Judai. There were hard times ahead and that boy was unprepared. He didn't want Judai to take his last breath.

Daitokuji prepared himself. He waited and waited, but his own moment never arrived.

There was a final bubbling of emotion, and then it disappeared.

Daitokuji was left to stare blankly at himself in the mirror. The emotion was there, the need was there, the desire was there. As much as he wanted to cry, he couldn't. His body just wouldn't let it happen.

His life was falling into pieces and there would be no one who could piece it back together. All he could do now was get the Philosopher's Stone before time ran out. That was his only hope.


End file.
